So much topics to post on...don't know where to start...but i'll start working on them

Quote

" The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for

-Maureen Dowd

"The One"

"It's the moment you realize someone knows you well enough to see the sum total of all your flawed parts and decides you're worth more than your shortcomings"

-Belle in Brooklyn

Believe in ABUNDANCE!!

I was having a conversation with a young lady recently. She's a few years my junior but as far as experience goes she, contrary to her age she has alot of growing up to do. I was compelled to enlighten her but hesistated, because we all know volunteered information is often discarded just as easily as it is attained. I wished that I could share some of what I've been blessed to learn. She had been unemployed for some time, and in this economy was lucky to find a job. She bragged about her hourly pay rate and it saddned me to learn that she was being drastically underpaid. See, where she comes from her friends and peers deemed her income more than sufficient. Not because it was enough to afford her her lifestyle but because they themselves had never been offered that amount before.

I didn't know where to begin so I simply told her "BELIEVE IN ABUNDANCE"I proceeded to encourage her by simplify things. "Let's say you make $30,000 annually. For your employer to be able to pay you that amount they have to be making well in the 6 figures to cover that when the cost of their living arrangement alone runs them approx. $60,000 to rent. I'm not going to go further into the details but after I broke it down she began to see the picture I was painting. I wanted her to comprehend that although it's not her reality at this point in her life, she has to believe in ABUNDANCE and not compromise her worth.

I myself was in the exact situation. Once I realized how much money a company makes off of my effort I knew they were more than capable to pay me more. I left that position and was unemployed for some time. There were times doubt got the best o me but I believed to my core in ABundance. Surely enough I got the exact amount I was seeking for a more gratifying less stressful position.

Belief in abundance doesn't just apply to financial circumstances. I first learned of the concept through dealing with matters of the heart. My course of actions were
the same. I knew my worth and when he didn't seem to fully realize, I closed the chapter on that relationship. He was a great guy, treated me well...spoiled me monetarily in fact. He was consistent,thoughtful and generous. He just wasn't fully committed emotionally when I was . A year after that relationship ended Is met the man if my dreams and this past September he proposed. None of this happened over night (of course not)but all throughout I believed that what I wanted and deserved was out there... and it was. BELIEVE!!!!!!!!

HMMM

Your so busy trying to be someone else...who'd ever wanna be you???

...wait! think about it

Talking myself out of...

Over the past 6 months I've been working on yet another list. This one is compiled of ideas I've had about activities, places i want to visit, and thing's I've wanted to try in general and the thoughts that immediately follows them that ultimately disables me from actually fulfilling these idea. I'm sure I'm not the only one guilty of this...talking myself out of something. It's good to have a conscience in situations that are questionable and instead of being black and white they appear grey. That's not what I'm referring to. Rather, it pertains to times you may want to try something but your negative self talk immediately dismisses it. Your conquest is met with excuses and justifications as to why you shouldn't even attempt to make things happen. Because This process goes over so smoothly from initiation to conclusion without missing a beat and you even noticing it...until you have the idea once more. This is due to the fact that whatever you "believe" your brain instantly searches for its references to make it true. When this happens who's voice do you hear? There's always a voice, who's is it...your own? Society? An Authority figure? Perhaps your mother (they mean well but contrary to popular beliefs don't always know best)?

I'll share with you one of my own. I always badger myself about not exercising and being lazy. I'm just not willing to do all that it would take to get the results that i ultimately want. I trick myself into starting off slow and moving in the right direction by doing little things like drinking more water. I tell myself if i master my 8 cups a day I'll know within myself that I'm ready to get the ball rolling. I've never made it past that step. See i know myself well enough that i wasn't prepared to do the work from the jump, so i gave myself a way out. I talked myself out of it.

Right now, I'm simply writing the list. I want to bring to the forefront all the things i haven't been honest with myself about. The more time passes by the less things i add to the list each month. This process has helped me to discover things that defines me. Habits that makes me who i am, both the ones i like, dislike, and other i simply cannot accept. Through this process I've finally figured out how to create PERMANENT CHANGE. The ones that work best for me.

Just thought I'd share. What things would make your list? What kind of conversations are you having with yourself? Write them down. I bet a few that makes the list will surprise you.

From Tragedy comes clearity...

Tragedy reveals real truth. We dread tragedy occuring in our own lives, but usually the times we survive our lives are instantly filled with new meaning. Has there ever been a time that we've had these revelations so dramatic from normal everyday occurances? Like an epiphany? Most likely not. Or if we have its often so minute that we tend to disreguard it. For myself, what i've come to realize is that tragedy, if nothing else is learned, often enlighten's us to the fact that time is not ours to waste. The younger we are the more entitled we feel to lengths of time. Don't wait for the inoppertune time to realize that time is a gift an asset that yields a return of value and should be invested and not spent like a liability (a liability only takes, never returns).

What you think of me is none of my bussiness...

You cannot live your life looking at yourself from someone else's point of view.

Panelope Cruz

Your opinion...

I've noticed i've made a few new friends. Thats sooo great. I was having some technical difficulties where for some reason anyone wanting to leave a comment in response to a post wasn't able to do so . Since then i revised the setting but have yet to confirm if the problem still exists. Feel free to comment guys! Whether its to the specific post or my cbox. Looking forward to it

CONFORMATION...no longer neccessary

Continuing with my self improvement theme and being more self aware...in recent weeks the focus has shifted more to the physical. My looks, my hair and my body(somewhat). Just shedding the layers of inaccurate self image and getting to the origins of these unrealistic beauty standards. In doing so i made a decision to get back to "Natural Me". This entails loosing the weave, amongst other things. Easier said than done. Like most hurdles the process has been more mental than anything else. It didn't take long before the self probing questions started flowing. " Why is it so hard to let go? What am i afraid of? Are these "enhancements" so much a part of me that i can't go without? Do i feel "less than" without them?" It took from the time of my last blog post till now for me to find the true answers to these questions. I had to be honest with myself and finally admit that the ideology of beauty that i held on to was so narrow and limited that i barely measured up to those standards without my "enhancements". Dont get me wrong, I've always recognized my God given beauty, never had doubts about that...however, over time with all the imagery and beauty campaigns on television and in videos and print ads and their lack of images reflecting beauty like my own, i began to conform to those standards instead of my own. So anyway, i finally sorted it all out and put my plan into action. I felt so empowered and positive about my journey I had to share the feeling. I decided to extend an invite to a couple of people closest to me to join me. Boy was that a mistake!
As i proceeded to share the details of my plan, my enthusiasm was met by unwelcomed criticism and flatout opposition.

HOW OFTEN DO WE SEEK APPROVAL /AGREEMENT , WE DON'T GET IT , AND DUE TO THEIR VOICE BEING LOUDER IN OUR HEADS THAN OUR OWN WE QUESTION OUR ORIGINAL REASONING LIKE "WHAT WAS I THINKING?"

Lucky for me that wasn't the case this time. I had INVESTED (not spent) the time in searching my true feelings and thoughts on the issue and had already established that bottomline this is about me and bettering myself. Fully aware that others may not be at the same stage in their lives, and i am fully prepared to venture on my own. NO CONFIRMATION NECCESSARY! Alot of times our own voice isn't strong enough for us to fight or even question the reasoning behind people's opposing opinions.

There's nothing wrong with calling up our BFF's or our mom or significant other at the end of a trying day or a challenge to confide in them or weigh their opinions against our own in regards to events that transpired and how we handled them. However, lets work on being more SELF SUFFICIENT, developing our own opinions, making our own decisions, and following our instincts. When it calls for it the loudest voice in our heads should be OUR OWN. It should be about "me". So that despite of opposition we stay true to what is best for us.

This wasn't the end of my ephiphany. Me idealizing long straight hair as a standard of beauty was just the tip of the iceberg. I questioned "what other stipulations do I put on my own beauty?" I started to make a note of things, literally, that i talk myself out of due to popular opinions. The list included things like " I don't wear turtle necks b/c it tends to look better on a long lean frame, which i am not." Now this is a minor one, thats besides the point, but for years i've restricted myself in one area or another because someone's opinion turned rule was louder in my head than my own voice. So my challenge for you is to do the same. Invest some time getting reacquainted with YOU and on a daily basis make a note of things you talk yourself out of doing, eating, wearing, unwritten rules you seamlessly follow based on someone's opinion. You'll be surprised at how much Power you take back over yourself after only a short time of doing this excercise. Feel free to comment or leave me a note in my Cbox sharing these perceptions and opinions that you've rid yourself of.