Believe in ABUNDANCE!!

I was having a conversation with a young lady recently. She's a few years my junior but as far as experience goes she, contrary to her age she has alot of growing up to do. I was compelled to enlighten her but hesistated, because we all know volunteered information is often discarded just as easily as it is attained. I wished that I could share some of what I've been blessed to learn. She had been unemployed for some time, and in this economy was lucky to find a job. She bragged about her hourly pay rate and it saddned me to learn that she was being drastically underpaid. See, where she comes from her friends and peers deemed her income more than sufficient. Not because it was enough to afford her her lifestyle but because they themselves had never been offered that amount before.

I didn't know where to begin so I simply told her "BELIEVE IN ABUNDANCE"I proceeded to encourage her by simplify things. "Let's say you make $30,000 annually. For your employer to be able to pay you that amount they have to be making well in the 6 figures to cover that when the cost of their living arrangement alone runs them approx. $60,000 to rent. I'm not going to go further into the details but after I broke it down she began to see the picture I was painting. I wanted her to comprehend that although it's not her reality at this point in her life, she has to believe in ABUNDANCE and not compromise her worth.

I myself was in the exact situation. Once I realized how much money a company makes off of my effort I knew they were more than capable to pay me more. I left that position and was unemployed for some time. There were times doubt got the best o me but I believed to my core in ABundance. Surely enough I got the exact amount I was seeking for a more gratifying less stressful position.

Belief in abundance doesn't just apply to financial circumstances. I first learned of the concept through dealing with matters of the heart. My course of actions were
the same. I knew my worth and when he didn't seem to fully realize, I closed the chapter on that relationship. He was a great guy, treated me well...spoiled me monetarily in fact. He was consistent,thoughtful and generous. He just wasn't fully committed emotionally when I was . A year after that relationship ended Is met the man if my dreams and this past September he proposed. None of this happened over night (of course not)but all throughout I believed that what I wanted and deserved was out there... and it was. BELIEVE!!!!!!!!

HMMM

Your so busy trying to be someone else...who'd ever wanna be you???

...wait! think about it

Talking myself out of...

Over the past 6 months I've been working on yet another list. This one is compiled of ideas I've had about activities, places i want to visit, and thing's I've wanted to try in general and the thoughts that immediately follows them that ultimately disables me from actually fulfilling these idea. I'm sure I'm not the only one guilty of this...talking myself out of something. It's good to have a conscience in situations that are questionable and instead of being black and white they appear grey. That's not what I'm referring to. Rather, it pertains to times you may want to try something but your negative self talk immediately dismisses it. Your conquest is met with excuses and justifications as to why you shouldn't even attempt to make things happen. Because This process goes over so smoothly from initiation to conclusion without missing a beat and you even noticing it...until you have the idea once more. This is due to the fact that whatever you "believe" your brain instantly searches for its references to make it true. When this happens who's voice do you hear? There's always a voice, who's is it...your own? Society? An Authority figure? Perhaps your mother (they mean well but contrary to popular beliefs don't always know best)?

I'll share with you one of my own. I always badger myself about not exercising and being lazy. I'm just not willing to do all that it would take to get the results that i ultimately want. I trick myself into starting off slow and moving in the right direction by doing little things like drinking more water. I tell myself if i master my 8 cups a day I'll know within myself that I'm ready to get the ball rolling. I've never made it past that step. See i know myself well enough that i wasn't prepared to do the work from the jump, so i gave myself a way out. I talked myself out of it.

Right now, I'm simply writing the list. I want to bring to the forefront all the things i haven't been honest with myself about. The more time passes by the less things i add to the list each month. This process has helped me to discover things that defines me. Habits that makes me who i am, both the ones i like, dislike, and other i simply cannot accept. Through this process I've finally figured out how to create PERMANENT CHANGE. The ones that work best for me.

Just thought I'd share. What things would make your list? What kind of conversations are you having with yourself? Write them down. I bet a few that makes the list will surprise you.

From Tragedy comes clearity...

Tragedy reveals real truth. We dread tragedy occuring in our own lives, but usually the times we survive our lives are instantly filled with new meaning. Has there ever been a time that we've had these revelations so dramatic from normal everyday occurances? Like an epiphany? Most likely not. Or if we have its often so minute that we tend to disreguard it. For myself, what i've come to realize is that tragedy, if nothing else is learned, often enlighten's us to the fact that time is not ours to waste. The younger we are the more entitled we feel to lengths of time. Don't wait for the inoppertune time to realize that time is a gift an asset that yields a return of value and should be invested and not spent like a liability (a liability only takes, never returns).

What you think of me is none of my bussiness...

You cannot live your life looking at yourself from someone else's point of view.

Panelope Cruz

Your opinion...

I've noticed i've made a few new friends. Thats sooo great. I was having some technical difficulties where for some reason anyone wanting to leave a comment in response to a post wasn't able to do so . Since then i revised the setting but have yet to confirm if the problem still exists. Feel free to comment guys! Whether its to the specific post or my cbox. Looking forward to it

CONFORMATION...no longer neccessary

Continuing with my self improvement theme and being more self aware...in recent weeks the focus has shifted more to the physical. My looks, my hair and my body(somewhat). Just shedding the layers of inaccurate self image and getting to the origins of these unrealistic beauty standards. In doing so i made a decision to get back to "Natural Me". This entails loosing the weave, amongst other things. Easier said than done. Like most hurdles the process has been more mental than anything else. It didn't take long before the self probing questions started flowing. " Why is it so hard to let go? What am i afraid of? Are these "enhancements" so much a part of me that i can't go without? Do i feel "less than" without them?" It took from the time of my last blog post till now for me to find the true answers to these questions. I had to be honest with myself and finally admit that the ideology of beauty that i held on to was so narrow and limited that i barely measured up to those standards without my "enhancements". Dont get me wrong, I've always recognized my God given beauty, never had doubts about that...however, over time with all the imagery and beauty campaigns on television and in videos and print ads and their lack of images reflecting beauty like my own, i began to conform to those standards instead of my own. So anyway, i finally sorted it all out and put my plan into action. I felt so empowered and positive about my journey I had to share the feeling. I decided to extend an invite to a couple of people closest to me to join me. Boy was that a mistake!
As i proceeded to share the details of my plan, my enthusiasm was met by unwelcomed criticism and flatout opposition.

HOW OFTEN DO WE SEEK APPROVAL /AGREEMENT , WE DON'T GET IT , AND DUE TO THEIR VOICE BEING LOUDER IN OUR HEADS THAN OUR OWN WE QUESTION OUR ORIGINAL REASONING LIKE "WHAT WAS I THINKING?"

Lucky for me that wasn't the case this time. I had INVESTED (not spent) the time in searching my true feelings and thoughts on the issue and had already established that bottomline this is about me and bettering myself. Fully aware that others may not be at the same stage in their lives, and i am fully prepared to venture on my own. NO CONFIRMATION NECCESSARY! Alot of times our own voice isn't strong enough for us to fight or even question the reasoning behind people's opposing opinions.

There's nothing wrong with calling up our BFF's or our mom or significant other at the end of a trying day or a challenge to confide in them or weigh their opinions against our own in regards to events that transpired and how we handled them. However, lets work on being more SELF SUFFICIENT, developing our own opinions, making our own decisions, and following our instincts. When it calls for it the loudest voice in our heads should be OUR OWN. It should be about "me". So that despite of opposition we stay true to what is best for us.

This wasn't the end of my ephiphany. Me idealizing long straight hair as a standard of beauty was just the tip of the iceberg. I questioned "what other stipulations do I put on my own beauty?" I started to make a note of things, literally, that i talk myself out of due to popular opinions. The list included things like " I don't wear turtle necks b/c it tends to look better on a long lean frame, which i am not." Now this is a minor one, thats besides the point, but for years i've restricted myself in one area or another because someone's opinion turned rule was louder in my head than my own voice. So my challenge for you is to do the same. Invest some time getting reacquainted with YOU and on a daily basis make a note of things you talk yourself out of doing, eating, wearing, unwritten rules you seamlessly follow based on someone's opinion. You'll be surprised at how much Power you take back over yourself after only a short time of doing this excercise. Feel free to comment or leave me a note in my Cbox sharing these perceptions and opinions that you've rid yourself of.

Embrace your Creativity...

Ok so last entry i shared some of my interests. It led me to ponder over "why did i put these interests on the back burner in the first place, especially since they once were important to me". I've always been a thinker. As a child i rarely got bored even though i was the only child in my household, amongst my godmother and great grandmother, and didnt own more than one or two toys at a time . Not many things to keep a child entertained so instead i spent alot of time using my imagination.

Reading was my escape ( ya'll remeber watching "Reading Rainbow"). It led me on adventures i would have otherwise never gotten to experience in lil ole' Belize. My mind was always occupied with mature thoughts. Plans of my future profession, living on my own, and retiring my parents excercised my adolescent mind. And they weren't the typical thoughts of an 8 or 9 yr old... like "me and my best friend are going to have our own apartment together and we'll stay up all night watching tv and eat junk food all day". They were thoughts more like " How much money would I need to provide me with the lifestyle i want to live?" I was always inquisitive in asking "Who do i know that makes a good living and how did they get to that point? How many years of school did they complete? What were their grades like?" I often prefered the company of adults than those my own age. I thirsted for answers to questions i inquired internally. I thought long and hard about the best route i should take. I had picked up from adult conversations that your best bet is to pick something you like and work in that field. My interests we're prodominently around reading books and writing. I loved writing poems and reality based fictional short stories. Naturally i aspired to be a novelist or an author. But the only person i knew of that was successful at it was Danielle Steel and that was a level of success i couldn't fathom me duplicating. I thought "What are the chances that i write a book that could be turned into a movie?" So i abandoned my hopeless aspiration with the logic " Writing is something i can do in my leisure time once im rich, i can always write in my spare time but for right now i need an interest that i can take to the bank."

I came up with the notion that i couldnt get rich from my creativity. We all know that our brain is divided into two parts. The Right side being oriented with feelings, imagination, symbols, religion, beliefs, fantasy. While the Left side is governed by knowledge, facts, order, reality,and safety. Being that im ruled by my *S type personality (structure, stability) it made more sense to bank on something more tangible than creativity. I figured that getting good grades in school and later persuing a career in maybe law or medicine or accounting was a better recipe for riches than writing a book and selling a million copies. It's said that your mind finds evidence to make whatever u believe to be true. So role icons like Bill Gates appealed to me more than Entertainers did. I didn't think nurturing my creavity would amount to much. So it was an easy decision to put my hobbies and interst to the side and hit the books harder.

That was until i had a revelation. Entertainers are the obvious example of people that gain riches from their creativity and honed talents. They only account for a small portion. It didnt occur to me that whether your a *T type personality or any other personality type that the right brain somehow still reighed supreme. I found out that Bill Gates didnt even finish college...but that obviously didnt stop him from becoming wealthy. He had to be creative to come up with the revolutionary technology he's been credited for. At the root of every success story and even in the everyday life of the hard working regular joe one has to excercise their right brain to set themselves apart from the masses. When it comes to the technicalities anyone can learn the in's and outs of things but its often the person that takes it a step further and gets creative that brings in the big bucks. There are people out there that would pay you millions for your creativity. You don't have to reinvent the wheel , just simply an alternate way to go about things can do the trick. All the gadgets we see late nights on infomercials can attest to that. Simple inventions that usually make us say " Hey! Why didnt i think of that". All it takes is a lil Right brain power.

So i encourage you to think with your right brain. If you already have a knack for something take it a step further. It's a god given gift. Given the right opportunity, your seasoned talents could be turned into a successful bussines or product. The list of people that have hit it big from a simple idea is endless. You'll only be mad at yourself if you don't and someone else seizes the opportunity.






* S.T.A.R System

S=structure, stability
T=technical, text book
A=action, go getter
R=relationship, touchy feely

YaaYYY Me!!!!!!!!

Im sure this will be of no significance to you...but i dont care. Reiterating the fact that im new to the blog world(duh...this is only like my 3 post) im so proud of myself. I knew nothing about posting entries, adding images, editing html etc...it took me damn near the whole day to get my page layout working, and adding picture within my entries and all that good stuff. But i finally got it. I momentarily considered asking one of my fellow bloggers for thier assistance but i doubted anyone would have the patience to assist me. So i was determined to figure it out on my own. I only use the computer to bullshit on like myspace and send im's...i know nothing of microsoft word, or photobucket, or photoshop and all that stuff. But im sure i'll be able to bring myself up to speed in due time. Incremental progress...thats what its all about

What matters to you...

So caught up with superficial interests that i feel like we're dumbing ourselves down. Never have i been( and most likely you too) so impressed or infatuated by people that are famous for reasons that couldn't be less impressive. So to counteract the negative effects that were a result of overloading on "pop culture" i've been on a self improvement course. As teenagers we go through this metamorphosis where we barter some of who we are in exchange to "fit in" if we stand out, be more sociable if we're a loner, and get noticed if we're more reserved. I failed at those efforts also by they way ( became the fly girl in school, at all the parties that were "poppin", was down with the who's who ) till i realized that wasnt really me. It landed me back at square one with only two friends remaining. Contrary to the fact that the number two is so minimal, its more than plenty for me. Besides who in the world has time to nurture that many meaningful relationships besides the ones we're obligated to work on (parents, siblings, significant other).

Now there's a million things under the sun that i'd like to do and learn and get better at. Study world history, Religion complete reading the bible from cover to cover, paymore attention to politics and learn how our government really works (prior to the Obama campaign i paid no attention to politics...completely avoided it), write for a newspaper or magazine, learn to sew and make my own clothes the way my mom used to do for me as a baby, take a tax prep course or accounting course, get my Securities License( no not like Top Flight security lol more like investing). The list goes on and on. I only need to start with one...and cross them off as i go along. The ones i touched on...start on those atleast. Once i start i can give myself a deadline to finish those and work on others. Sounds simple enough... right?

As i venture out with this blogging thing im opening myself up to the world, spending time with strangers. I cant help but think...how well does my family know me? How much time have i invested in them? So its definately a priority to work on that and finally address issues we've swept under the the rug or simply surpressed. As i reflect on the lack of friends being a blessing in disguise it rewards me with the opportunity to get closer with my family. Certain movies drives the point home of how important my family is to me. The most recent one being Seven Pounds starring Will Smith (if your into tear jerking type dramas u should definately go see). So to jump start the effort i decided to write them each a Love Letter. Saying all the things TODAY that i would only admit maybe on my or their dying day. What good would it be then right? My point exactly. So that one should be at the top of my to do list. Done with a sense of urgency. People on that list are my parents, my four siblings, my godmother who raised me, and my granny Rita...i dont speak to my grandmother on my mother's side at all( whole other blog entry). Im so eager to find new friendships and meet new people, my soul yearns to socialize; so why not spend some quality time getting to know my family. I really need to act on these things immediately so that they dont remain just good intentions. At the end of the day...this is what really matters to me.

Procrastination or Laziness...one and the same

We're burdned by good intentions. Perpetually plagued by " TO DO" lists in our heads. In my case (due to my "S" type personality i gravitate to structure and/ or stability) im usually a step ahead of some, being that i'm well aware of my priorities and how i should best spend my time. Some of us have yet to invest time to sorting out whats important to us. However, we're all human and often fall short of those good intentions from time to time. We tend to give ourselves a way out as if we have all the time in the world. But do we understand why? In situations as such, its imperative for one to find out the origin of these character flaws, instead of jumping into an action plan to try to fix the problem. Understanding why rewards us a better chance of not duplicating the mistake. Or at the least figuring out who we are... and accepting ourselves flaws and all.

Sorting through our feeling by interrogating ourselves helps us to get to the root of the problem. "Am i really that lazy? Why is it that i never just hop to it and get it over with? Even when there's a designated amount of time to complete a task... why is it that i never start immediately? Instead i neglect it till the last minute." Some of us even take it a step further and reinforce this bad habit by praising ourselves for working well under "self inflicted pressure"( which is not the same as pressure of normal circumstances). As if we're less talented when we work consistently to meet a deadline. Is that true for the majority of us? Do our work turn out better when we work harder and faster in a shorter period of time? Is there any time that we do work consistently and yield our best results?" Yes actually, but for some it takes having an audience, knowing that our actions are monitored. How often are we accountable to ourselves and keep our word. What's our work ethic like when no one's looking? And we wonder why we're always dissappointed with ourselves when we merit another's person's approval of us over our own. Our self approval should have precedence over others. We should hold ourselves to higher standards, but we fail to do so.

So how do we channel our inner "Go Getter" and be our own catalyst? Whether its the things that are more important to us ( the long term goals or the bigger picture) or its something we're just obligated to do (but not so enthused about ),the solution is the same for both. Make it a HABIT. To quote the NFL hall of famer Vince Lombardi "Winning is a habit, unfortunately so is losing". When something is a habit its normal and natural for us to do.A habit is not biased and can be both harmful and beneficial. Do anything long enough and it's a habit. So the key is winning one battle at a time and acting now. Make it a habit of starting immediately. Work on a goal IMMEDIATELY. When did step one become putting it on a list...especially if time permits you to start RIGHT NOW? Step one should be step one. Writing down our goals is intended to be a reminder when we're distracted and loose site of what we're working for. The sequence from thought to action should become seamless...once we make it a habit. So for those of us out there with new years resoulutions ( whatever they may be) KNOW WHY your doing it, create NEW HABITS in place of old ones, and act IMMEDIATELY on step one. Once we're on our way...hold yourself to your own standards not some one else's. You have a better chance of success when you define what success is to you.